Well, here I sit, in a lawn chair on a beach in St. Augustine, Florida. Unlike in my younger days, when I attended Flagler College…before I was asked to leave, I am entirely sober. And I’m checking the news on my newfangled phone thingy. And there is a hurricane coming. This is doubly distressing.
First, having been on the earth for a good while, I’ve developed a healthy fear of weather. Indeed Mother Nature can be a mean ‘ol lady when she wants to be, and I understand full well that precautions must be taken. This is not because I’m paranoid about weather and thus live in mortal fear of ever raindrop…that fear comes in a few years when The Weather Channel is constantly on in our house. No, I know now that precautions must be taken because I’ve reached the age where young people hear stories about people my age being killed in hurricanes. And between you and me, news reports really don’t put funny spins on things like I like to do so I don’t want to give them the opportunity to report on my demise.
Secondly, as I look around my former college town, I see a whole lot of young people. Being a former young person, I know darn well that due to the impending weather event, there will be, naturally, parties. Specifically there will be hurricane parties. In and of itself, it’s no big deal. Hell, I attended many, and, unless there is some inter-dimensional nonsense going on, I survived them. The kids who attend such parties will be fine. Oh sure, there will be a lot of stupidity demonstrated by the party-goers, but these are future congressmen and congresswomen so they need to practice their stupidity. The problem I have is that the news reporters will be out and about, preaching their cautionary tales about how dangerous hurricane parties are and how no one in the history of time ever, EVER survived one. Of course they’ll file their reports shortly before heading out to their own hurricane party so go figure.
No, I’m at the age where nature will not let me just shrug off a hurricane because I’m too old to have a party for it and I’m too young to be a story of a ‘strong survivor’ of the event. So here, as I sit in my beach chair contemplating the impending storm, I’m thinking of just heading over to the Santa Maria Restaurant and having a great view of whatever comes. I think I’ll just throw a young person between me and the hurricane. Couldn’t hurt…I’ll just try to…
Be Good or Be Good At It!
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