Alright, folks, I’ve finally decided to speak out against a social injustice. I have just learned that a group of social malcontents have decided to abandon the rules of society and, in an effort to display their cruelty, have decided to occupy a public space and begin attacking and slaughtering young bears.
Look, I have no love lost for bears. One particularly nasty specimen of bear was entirely responsible for the systematic and barbaric killing of my imaginary friend when I was a child…okay, it happened yesterday. But that notwithstanding, I don’t want to see any animal beaten and killed, not even bears!
So please join me in the public denouncement of these horrible criminals and take whatever steps are needed to have them arrested.
Why I never believed that in today’s society…What? I’m doing a post here…why are you interrupting me? You say you were telling me that the Chicago Cubs were going to be beaten by the Pittsburgh Pirates today in Major League Baseball?