Our Paradise May Be Haunted


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I’m here to haunt your vacation!

Our little island paradise of Birubegja is pretty much how I left it, and for that we are grateful.  Aside from our being some 11 years older than our previous visit, the island has kept itself pretty far away from “civilization.”  I can think of no real complaints I have to offer, so this wraps up this article. Thanks for reading…oh wait, there is the one thing.  The island may be possessed by a malevolent spirit bent on devouring our souls.

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The original voyeur

It all started when we got to the rental villa and I had a feeling something was off. I chalked it up to the scientifically proven fact that I travel as well as unrefrigerated mayonnaise, and had been in a foul mood since the trip began. But no, I had the distinct impression we were being watched.  You need to know that we are in no resort. There are no occupied villas within miles so it’s not as if Jimmy Stewart is looking out of his window at us…that would be really weird considering his status of dead and not likely to recover. We are…alone.

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All hail Ra!

After a few days I found the source of the evil that is turning family members against each other and keeping us in low supply of paper towels.  It’s Ra the Sun God.  Well, I call him that mainly because he is a smiling “sun,” I know ancient Egyptians worshipped the Sun God named Ra and I always had a thing for Cleopatra. Anyhoo, this thing stares at you and it’s eyes follow you wherever you are in the room. It’s got an almost sinister smile and a green phalic symbol for a nose, and I’m pretty sure it wants us as a sacrifice.

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It watches you

Even now as I write this it is sitting up there on the wall…mocking me.  “Consternation.” See? I didn’t event want to write that word. It interrupted the flow I was trying to establish. Not that I’ve got anything against consternation. It is a good word as words go, but it was entirely unnecessary in this article.  It’s all Ra’s fault, I tells ya.  Something must be done.

I thought of simply taking him down off the wall, but when I grabbed the Demonic Diety by his sunray, we’ll felt a little dirty so I released it and just crawled back to the couch and sobbed. In any case, I think it is abundantly clear that Ra has possessed this house and the island.  I will probably end up fleeing (heck, it’s what I’m good at) and returning only with Melissa McCarthy and the rest of the new Ghostbusters.

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Watch it’s eyes…it follows you!

I wish I could adequately describe to you the feelings of dread Ra has instilled in each of us. I simply don’t have the right words.  It’s really a deep seeded feeling of…

Consternation.

Damn him.

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