BGOBGAI Special: 5 Keys to Surviving Thanksgiving


Thanksgiving is upon us here in the good ‘ol Estados Unidos, and soon we will all be with the ones we love and spending quality time while personifying a Norman Rockwell painting. Below are my top 5 keys to surviving Thanksgiving:

  1. Watch the drinking

Look, it’s the Holidays, drinking is often used to lighten the mood. I get it. Having a few drinks can enhance the experience and lead to some funny stories and recollections by those who can remember such things. When you have multiple people spending the night in the house and they aren’t used to doing so, well, that next morning can be a killer!

  1. Find a way to stomach the Lions

Ah yes, another Thanksgiving means another NFL game with the Detroit Lions. It’s sort of become a tradition to what these poor performing millionaires do their best to make you believe they are professional football players. They’ve been putrid since the NFL made the decision to use synthetic footballs and not actual pigskin for their…pigskins. Word of advice… whenever the Lions are on offense, turn the volume down on the TV and play the Benny Hill theme music on continuous loop. Makes it more enjoyable.

  1. Everyone is outside of their comfort zone

Remember all those many hours ago when I wrote an article about comfort zones? Well, remember that everyone, including the hosts, are outside of their comfort zones. Some use small talk to get through the situation, some make jokes, some watch TV. Others sit and drool through the whole thing while mumbling about how things used to be. I used to be the joking one, but lately I’ve started towards being the drooler. Not a bad gig if you can get it.

  1. You will eat too much

Get over it. There is so much good food to be ingested with extreme prejudice that your waistline is going to feel like its waging war on two fronts (doesn’t work out well, see History). You will eat large amounts of things you normally wouldn’t touch and enjoy most of it. Heck, you might even take a spoonful of that red, bouncy, gelatinous ooze that labels itself Cranberry Sauce. Oh, and then you’ll blame the Turkey (and its actually minuscule amount of Tryptophan) for making you tired when it is actually the fact that you ate more than the average elephant eats in a week.

  1. We All Love Each Other

Listen, someone (more often than not it is me) is going to say something stupid. Expect it. Count on it. Bank it. Whatever it is will sound bad, but whoever says it won’t mean it that way. It is vitally important to everyone that we all remember that family is the name of the game here. We all do love each other. We act, occasionally, in a way that make one wonder if the water supply has been spiked with dummy-juice, but at the end of the day, or “final analysis” as my father would say, we are all in this together. You never know long you’ve got with each other so cherish all of it, especially the stupid moments. That’s what stories are made of. Plus it gives you a fun way to…

Be good or be good at it!

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

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